It is interesting to think that the end has finally come. After two whole years I am coming home!!! I think it is just barely starting to hit me. I feeling of excitement, and yet an even greater feeling of sadness. For the past two years I have come to love a people, who when I first came out here, I hated. However, slowly over time they have gained a special place of my heart. I love it here so much and the thought of leaving literally is like ripping that piece of my heart out of me.
So all of the departing missionaries gathered the last few nights at our flat (the APs flat) and spent the night there. It was so surreal seeing all of us elders together again and thinking two years ago all of us were in the MTC together. Wow how time flies... The next day we went to the Temple and boy what an experience it was. It was really nothing abnormal of what you feel in the temple for me, until we went into the celestial room. To let you know for my whole mission I have worked as hard as I could. However, it has always been difficult to think if I did what was right in the Lord's eyes. Was He happy with my service? Was He truly satisfied with me, as a servant in His arms? I had said many prayers in my mission asking Him if I had indeed failed as a missionary or failed a certain convert if they had gone less active. I knew that this was the place and the time to ask him once again if my sacrifice was notable in his eyes. It was there that I began to pray and ask God if my two years was a sacrifice that was worthy in His eyes. Nothing happened. I kept praying and asked once more. It was then that the answer came. My whole soul ignited fire from within. My body felt excitement and then happiness, and then a sense of overwhelming love. Tears began to flow, and then across the lids of my closed eyes I saw each and every convert I had taught and entered into the waters of baptism. I saw my companion and I teaching them, I saw them praying and asking the Lord for guidance. I saw their baptism and confirmation. All of this i saw just as clearly as I can see the hand in front of my face. Next I saw every less active I had ever seen come back into full activity. I felt their happiness, and their love, which caused my heart to swell from within and burn as thought it were on fire. I saw others whom I had taught and once again felt their love and their gratitude knowing that they too would accept the gospel. Then continuing across the theatre of my mind I saw interviews I had conducted, missionaries I had counciled, Presidents I had served, and baptisms I had performed. This overwhelming love once again filled my soul and then I heard the voice of the lord speak to my mind saying, "Do you really think you could have failed? Look at what good you have don. My son you have no failed, but you have serve for me. I have accepted this with joy." This was indeed one of the greatest tender mercies that I have had while serving as a missionary.
After the Temple we went to do the London trip. It was a trip that I have made many many many times, so it was nothing new to me, but it sure was a fun trip. I love London. I think it is the prettiest city in the world! After London we all went home, and while the rest of the missionaries watched a movie. Albrecthson and myself went to Jonny and Debbies home for dinner. It was nice to have one last dinner with recent converts whom I had helped teach.
The next day we went to church and Bishop Graham invited me up to bear my testimony before leaving. This I did with a full heart as a once again bawled my eyes out. I looked down and saw in this ward alone, Nikki Hewitt, Charlotte, Debbie, Jonathan, Manoj, and Tegen (set to be baptised next week) all of whom I had taught and made pre-mortal promises with to share the gospel with them, I have no doubt.
After church I said my goodbyes, finished packing, and headed to the temple. There I was interview by President Millar. It was just a normal interview. Having served as an AP for 9 months I was only interviewed by my mission Presidents once or twice. At the conclusion of my interview we proceeded to the "last supper" which was held down in the accomodations of the temple, immediatly following that we held our missionary testimony meeting. It was indeed powerful to see all of the elders and sisters and how much they had grown. I once again bawled my eyes out as I began to bear my testimony.
Right after that we said our goodbyes to President and Sister Millar, who were going to Germany the next day for a Europe mission seminar. Many of the missionaries went to bed after that but Elder Lusk and myself stayed up till about 4 AM in the mission office just talking. And now here I am writing this last email. Knowing that I will see you all tomorrow, with a happy and yet heavy heart. I know that what I have done the past two years has been an tremendous "sacrifice" but in reality it has been the greatest gift god has given me up to this point in my life (besides His son). I know God lives and that He loves me. I know that Jesus Christ is His son. Together "it is their work and their glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). I know that because they love us so much they once again re-established the fullness of the gospel in these, the latter days. That this was done through the prophet Joseph Smith. That the priesthood authority was once again restored on the earth. The evidence of this is the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. I know this to be true for have read, studied, and prayed about the words within that book. The power I have felt and the feeling which it brings into my life is beyond denial, that it is indeed true! I know that there is a living prophet of God on earth today, and that is Thomas S. Monson. I know that he is Gods mouthpiece on the earth. That he speaks what God wants us to hear, just as in times of old. I also know and perhaps to my greatest knowledge that Jesus is the Christ. He is the Son of the living God. I know that he suffered for me, an imperfect soul so that I might live again. I know that he has ransomed mankind giving them the opportunity to not only physically live again, but also spiritually. I know with every ounce of my heart that He lives. That he loves me. That He loves all of us and that is why He did what he did for us. Because I know this, this is why I chose to serve a mission. Not for family, not for friends, not for anything else, but because of Him. Christ is the reason I chose to serve. To be an instrument in His hands in bringing those "who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it" (DandC 123: 12 back unto Him, by partaking FULLY in His atonement.
